| ] The Kill by Thirty Seconds to Mars
The more and more I think about and reflect on this past year, the more it seems I know people who are competiting for the award of 'Shittiest Relationship that Seriously Fucks Up Your Friendships'. I would like to note that this is not all of my friends. So shut up if you're in a relationship and don't make the automatic assumption that I'm talking about you. <3 If you ask me if I think this list applies to you, I will not answer.
This revelation has mostly come about upon the realization that whenever I talk to people, they always want to know the dirt on Ashley and Joe, because they are "THE ENGAGED COUPLE". Ashley and Joe are probably the normalest, and most boring couple that I know. They are maybe one of the few couples that I can hang out with as a couple. Yet everyone wants dirt on them. I can name five couples easily off the top of my head that are twice as screwed as the A&J. Give me a further thirty seconds and I may be able to come up with ten.
Hence, I thought it was very important to reveal this guide : Ways To Know You're In A Relationship That Annoys Your Friends.
I would also like to add this is a series of generalizations that I have developed over the past few months. It is not based on anyone specific. Way Number One
: You no longer hold your own opinion on anything. It's "We thought this..." or "We liked/didn't like that..." This rule mostly applies when the multiple person view is used for a long portion of time. Additionally, you can never have an arguement with the significant other, because it means you have thought differently. Arguements are a healthy part of relationships.Way Number Two
: You are no longer even a single entity! When a person invites YOU to come somewhere, you make the automatic assumption that the significant other HAS to come. Friends do not called "THE COUPLE" to hang out all the time! Be wary of when the situation actual calls for "THE COUPLE" and just "YOU".Way Number Three
: You cannot be bothered to hang out with friends and/or return phone calls because you are too busy with the significant other and doing such would result in lost of significant other time. Way Number Four
: You stop spending time with certain friends because the significant other does not like them. A good significant other will either a) let you hang out with said friends on your own or b) endure time with said friends because they want to please you, and then bitch openly about said friends later on.Way Number Five
: You will not shut the hell up about significant other and have no stories that do not feature significant other. Though it can honestly be annoying when you have to go a day without significant other, friends do no want to hear it. (Whining about being away from the other for A DAY almost ranks as a number of its own). When you are with friends, it is friend time. Additionally, friends do not want to hear stories that solely feature significant other. Most of the stories may feature significant other, but if all, you will be labeled "clingy".Way Number Six
: Trying to make the protest that you are not simple "SO AND SO'S SIGNFICIANT OTHER" yet will not be seen without the other's company. You simply are "SO AND SO'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER" then. Shut up.Way Number Seven
: The new significant other does not make any attempt once so ever to talk and get to know your group of friends. Friends will instantly label significant other an asshole.Way Number Eight
: You constantly have to proclaim how "DEEPLY IN LOVE YOU ARE." Okay. Really, if you're honestly and truely in love, friends do not need you to proclaim it over and over and over to see that you are. Simple and slightly repeated sayings of affection toward said significant other will let the meaning sink in.Way Number Nine
: You get mad and/or upset over this list. Way Number Ten
: The not understanding of why the friends might be upset with you, and becoming defensive about it. Read one-nine. Repeat until understanding occurs. Additionally, if further evidence is needed, remember that most friends are not trying to sabotage your relationship, but are merely trying to help you.
Would anybody like to add any additional ways on?